One hot, steamy day in the early to mid-2000s, I took my pre-teen children on the subway from Manhattan to Queens to adopt a cat. I’d never been a cat owner before but from everything I’d seen on TV (and a few negligent owners), cats are super independent, easy to care for and don’t need much.
Well, somebody lied.
Have you ever been to a stranger’s home for the first time, and you can tell that kids lived there. The place had toys all over the floor, tiny clothes strewn about, while walls and furniture ruined by crayons and markers. This same phenomenon happens when you become a cat owner. Who knew? I didn’t!
One year after riding to Queens where we adopted Amber.
We then adopted Topaz.
After that, our apartment was no longer our own. It belonged to the felines. And just like newborn babies, these little guys need stuff. So much stuff!
I’m going to give it to you straight, new cat owner: Get out your wallet. 😀 Behind those innocent eyes is a tiny dictator who demands it all. I’ll be fair and give you options: Budget, Better and Baller.
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Essential #1: Nutrition and Hydration: Because Cats Aren’t Living Off Snacks (Unfortunately)
If my cats could survive on treats alone, they’d be in kitty heaven. But alas, proper nutrition is key to keeping them healthy. Cats need a balanced diet rich in protein because—fun fact—they’re carnivores at heart. So, while they might give you those pleading eyes when you’re eating your pizza, remember: they need their meat. Sorry, vegetarians and vegans.
Then there’s water. Hydration is just as important as food, but cats tend to treat their water bowl like it’s filled with poison. Enter: cat water fountains. My cats act like they’re sipping from the freshest mountain spring. If your cats are like mine and think still water is beneath them, a fountain might just trick them into drinking more. And let’s face it, anything that keeps us from running behind our cats constantly trying to get them to drink water like they’re toddlers is a win.
Budget: Two bowls: one for dry food, one for water.
Better: Elevated bowls for better digestion, less vomiting.
Baller: Automated dry food cat feeder (for wet food) and water fountain.
Shot-caller alert: Personal chef and purified water dispenser.
Essential #2: Litter Boxes and Litter: A Stinky Reality
Ah, the glamorous part of cat ownership—dealing with litter boxes. Whether you have one cat or a feline army, the right litter box and litter will make a world of difference. Go for something big enough that they don’t feel like they’re using a cramped airplane bathroom. For the litter itself? Clumping is your friend. Trust me, the faster it clumps, the less you’ll curse your cat and your existence when it’s cleaning time.
Here’s a little secret: cats can be picky about their litter. Some cats prefer a specific texture (like they’re reviewing it for “Cat Litter Monthly”), while others might have strong opinions on scent. Experiment a bit, and when you find the one that works, hold onto it for dear life.
Budget: Aluminum pan, ripped newspaper and your hand.
Better: Litter box, litter, scooper and plastic baggies.
Baller: Automated litter box and diagnostic litter.
Shot-caller: Housekeeper.
Essential #3: Cat Toys: Entertain Them, or Be Destroyed
Cats are notorious for sleeping 16 hours a day, but when they’re awake? You better have some toys handy, or they’ll find their own entertainment (like your furniture). Toys that mimic hunting, like feather wands or laser pointers, are a hit.
Don’t get discouraged if your cat stares at the $30 toy you just bought like it’s beneath them, only to be obsessed with a random hair tie on the floor. Cats are weird like that. You gotta roll with it.
Budget: String, dental floss, yarn or shoestring.
Better: Cat wand toy.
Baller: Interactive cat laser pointer toy.
Shot-caller: Cat robot companion.
Essential #4: Grooming Products: Keeping Your Cat Fancy (and Your Furniture Fur-Free)
Grooming is non-negotiable if you want to avoid your house looking like it’s been taken over by a tumbleweed of fur. Regular brushing not only keeps your cat looking fabulous but also reduces shedding and those dreaded hairballs. I mean, no one enjoys hearing that “hacking” sound at 3 a.m.
Invest in a good brush—trust me, it’s worth it. And if you’ve got a long-haired diva on your hands, some detangling spray might be worth the extra investment.
Budget: Nothing, just live with fur flying everywhere, your cat vomiting hairballs into your shoes and people making fun of you because you always have fur on your clothing.
Better: Slicker brush and lint roller.
Baller: FURminator, Chom Chom, extra sticky roller and dryer sheets.
Shot-caller: Professional groomer and dry cleaning.
Essential #5: Scratching Posts: Save Your Furniture, Save Your Soul
If you value your couch, invest in a scratching post. Cats love scratching—it’s their way of saying, “This is mine.” Scratching posts give them a designated spot to let out their wild side while sparing your furniture from destruction.
Pro tip: sprinkle a little catnip on the post to get your cat’s attention. Watching them go from uninterested to obsessed is honestly one of life’s simple joys.
Budget: Your furniture, carpet and rugs.
Better: Scratching post.
Baller: Interactive scratching post.
Shot-caller: A wing of the house just for the cats.
At the end of the day, cats may be low-maintenance compared to some pets, but they still have their standards. Get their needs right, and they’ll reward you with endless (well, ok, occasional) purrs and affection. Just remember, they’re the boss—you’re just the humble human staff.
What do you think? Is this list complete? Is there another essential you would substitute? Tell us below!